She's a VIP, Folks!

I've been very negligent with the blog lately, which is actually quite unfortunate because we have had some exciting things happen around these parts!

Kaiya has made some amazing strides since August. So much in fact, it really is a miracle and I can scarcely believe it!

August was when we first started to see some positive changes. Prior to August, it had been a long time since there had been a marked improvement with the talking. She had hit a plateau and hadn't talked to any new people, with the exception of her new teacher for the upcoming year.

Anyways, once August rolled around, all of a sudden it was like someone flipped a switch or something. She talked to my good friend, Kim, for the first time. She absolutely adores Kim and had previously been able to talk to her on the phone, but not face-to-face. I figured since Kim was one of the few that she could at least talk to, even though not face-to-face, this would be a fantastic place to start working on again. Kaiya was so nervous, but we had her talk on the phone with Kim and then inched Kim closer and closer until they were standing next to each other, and finally Kaiya started talking to her. We were so excited because it had been so long since any progress had been made.

August could also have been known as the month for playdates, since we literally had playdates almost every day of the week, in preparation for the upcoming school year. With Kaiya suddenly making some strides in the social arena, I wanted to take full advantage of it and see if she would continue to make any progress. Therefore, I wanted her around as many kids that were possibly going to be in her class as possible. I'm not gonna lie, this was an enormous task, especially since I wasn't sure if A--she was going to talk at any of these playdates with any of the kids, which then makes it so I have to sit and play and interact the entire time, and B--if she did talk to kids who came over, would it then translate over into the school setting and would she talk to those kids in front of kids she didn't talk to?

August ended up being such a turning point for Kaiya. She managed to talk to each and every kid who came over for a playdate! At first we had to do things like talk on phones and walkie talkies in separate rooms, but gradually she was able to come closer and closer until they were actually face-to-face. She had never ever been able to do that before, so that was amazing. Even more amazing was the fact that some of the kids we had over were children she had known since her first year of preschool when she was 4 and had never ever spoken a single word to before. It's a thousand times harder for her to talk to someone who she has a long history of not talking to and knows she doesn't talk. By the time school started she was talking to eight classmates! Eight! That was so huge! It made cautiously optimistic for the upcoming year.


The first few days of school, I was on complete pins and needles. It was hard not to completely interrogate her when she came home every day. I was so hopeful that her new openness with social things would continue to carry on in the school year and that all those playdates would make a difference. Now that there were 8 people she talked to, I was hoping it was enough children that she would be able to start talking to the rest. Kaiya was already talking to Mrs. S because we had met with her throughout the summer. {Teachers have always been the exception to the rule for her. She can always talk to her new school teacher because she has it in her head that teachers are nice and safe to talk to. I completely attribute this to Miss Molly, her fabulous preschool teacher, that put in ALL those extra visits, dates, and time with her.} I just kept trying to emphasize that now she was speaking to about half the class and going over with her how the other 15 kids in the class were kids that didn't know her so they wouldn't know that it was a big deal for her to talk because they just think she's always talked.


The first couple of days she talked to a few new students in her class, which was fantastic. Then we made a goal for that Friday, the 2nd. They were going to be celebrating her birthday in the class that day and she also got to be the VIP that day. When you are the class VIP, you get to bring something special to share and talk about with the class and then they ask you some questions about it.  She picked out a picture of her with Belle, from the last time she went to Disneyland, and then we practiced what she would say and went over like a bazillion questions the kids could ask her so she could practice answering the questions. Talking in front of the entire class like that was most likely going to be a goal completely out of her reach, but we wanted to throw it out there, just in case, because you never know.


Later that day, I dropped by the school because I brought treats for the class for her birthday. Much to my surprise, Mrs. S. had Kaiya get on the chair in front of the entire class. She then asked Kaiya where she was born, if she knew how much she weighed, and what time she was born.

 

KAIYA ANSWERED ALL OF HER QUESTIONS!!!

 

I couldn't believe my ears. She was really quiet and acting pretty shy, but she was TALKING!


I seriously started bawling like a baby, and then trying to act like I wasn't crying at all. You know how well I do that. :)


It has just been such a long road with the Selective Mutism and on those days I would get discouraged, it felt like maybe she would never talk at all, particularly since we had tried so many different strategies and nothing seemed to be helping much. Research shows that the earlier the child is diagnosed and receives help, the easier it will be to overcome and the better the prognosis. If not treated until after age 7, few kids are "cured" in their earlier years.  Kids who do not improve by age 10, have a much worse prognosis. While I knew that it was great that she was diagnosed so early, the lack of major progress was hard and I always had those numbers 7 & 10 in my head. To be able to watch her talking in front of the class on her 7th Birthday was a very special thing to witness and something I'll hold dear forever. There were lots and lots of hard work, prayers, and yes, tears, that made that happen.

As VIP, Kaiya was able to pick from the treasure chest. It's a chest full of toys! She was pumped. Here she is with her "treasure":

She picked a pair of funny glasses and couldn't be more pleased!

Since her day as "VIP", Kaiya has continued to make tons of progress. We always log on a calendar who Kaiya has talked to and put a sticker on it. For the month of September, Kaiya talked to over 40 new people! Crazy, huh!

She talked to her whole class, to her teachers during specials, her ballet teacher and class, her piano teacher, and some family friends. With each person she's talking to, she is gaining more and more confidence. It's been so exciting to see. In fact, some of her teachers have reported that there have been times when she won't stop talking. She'll talk to others and they just let her and are having a hard time telling her to be quiet because they don't want to hinder all the progress she's made.

My favorite thing to see is how happy she is. She was always a happy kid before. In fact, people would always say to me, "She doesn't talk, but she is just the happiest little thing, isn't she!" Now though, she's even happier and she says she has all these friends. Being able to talk really helps you make friends apparently! :)

Kaiya made a bunch of progress in October too. She talked to even more new people and is starting to be braver in social situations in general. For instance, when I drop her off at school after she has an appointment, she will totally let me just drop her off and go into the office herself, check-in, and go back to the classroom. She would have never, ever let me do that before. I would have had to walk her every step of the way.

Before the school year started, I could honestly say she would never talk in almost every social situation you threw her in. Now I would say she would talk "sometimes" or "frequently", but not all the time---but that is in the range of being completely normal for a 1st grader. Sure she still has anxiety and it manifests itself in other ways, but she's no longer mute.  That's a fantastic thing and such a huge blessing in her life and in ours.  It's really been a miracle to see!