Thirty-five

My sister Angie turns 35 today, so Lindsay and I have teamed up to drop some of our best Angie memories right on ya – BOOM!

1. "Jared's little sister" - I gotta go way way back to the Juanita Elementary days for this one. I was so popular in 6th grade that she was practically nameless. All my friends nicknamed her "Jared's little sister" and it just stuck. Sure, it was catchy, but "little" did I know that once we moved to Bellevue my popularity would go down faster than the city of Vancouver after losing the Stanley cup. Yep, not much different than what happened to this guy:

2. "Hole in the Wall" - She used to spy on my hot friends through the cork board wall in my old room. And by hot friends, I pretty much mean Chris Warren. He's now a meteorologist for the Weather Channel. I also realize I should have put quotes around the word "hot" (like this), so you didn't think I was actually describing my friends as hot, but that I was quoting Angie.

3. "Points Pending" - Whenever we'd play Scattergories she'd always disallow at least 2-3 of my words until she had time to research them. Thus, those points were "pending" until a few hours after the game. OH, and lo and behold she still won. Well, after a few times getting dominated on Words with Friends I think she's learned her lesson.

4. "Can I Kick It?" - Yes you can. Our passion for A Tribe Called Quest can't be faded. She actually made a lipsync video to "Check the Rhyme" for me while I was on my mission.

4. "Neverending Story" - We quote movies all the time, but sadly we reference the Neverending Story waaaaaaay too much. "Artaxxxxxxx, you're sinking!!!!"




Hahahah don't cry too much. (Note: I will be referencing our other famous movie quotes throughout this post).

5. "Surely You Jest" - Mocking people is one of our favorite hobbies. It's one of the main reasons we go to wedding receptions, graduations and parties. But don't worry, if we don't mock you then that means we don't like you, so it's kind of a compliment. It's either that or we really, honestly don't like you.



6. "New Identity" - In third grade she tried to get everyone to start calling me J.J. (my middle name is James). I thank the sweet blessing of the gods above that this trend never caught on. Plus, wouldn't she then have been "J.J.'s Little Sister?"

7. "You Take the Good, You Take the Bad" - One of the first times Lindsay stayed at our house that you both watched a Facts of Life marathon on the sofa bed in the "club room". She thought you were probably one of the funniest and fun people she'd ever met.

Which one gets Clooney? Well duh, Jo's a lesbian right?

8. "Where the Heart is" - We watched this movie probably like 50 times together at your Dad's house when we lived there and it is probably one Lindsay's favorite movies today. Not because it's the best movie other---She just likes the memory of watching it with you and it always reminds her of you. And we secretly wish you would have named Qiana either "Americus" or "Cinnamon." But I guess that would almost obligate her to become a stripper.

9. "Kevin Bacon" - No joke. Angie is the master of 6 Degrees and can connect ANY 2 Celebrities using movies. Doesn't matter how obscure. For instance - Angie, connect Jean Claude van Damme to Dolly Parton. Give me the answer in the comments. I predict 4 or less.

"Hey you. I know you, I know you."

10. "You're My Obsession" - Angie's obsessions have ranged from stuffed pigs, to serial killers to Robert Downey, Jr. (Yes, you did discover him and his greatness long before the rest of the world. I'll vouch for it.)

11. "Heartthrobs" - I used to steal her Tiger Beat magazines so I could stare at the Alyssa Milano photos. Kirk Cameron and the Coreys were pretty easy on the eyes too.

Alyssa is the BOSS

12. "Single White Females" - Not sure how one person can have that many psycho roommates in their life, but you did it. Now everyone who's lived with her is like "Is he talking about me????"

13. "The Happiest Place on Earth" - The many, many journeys to Disneyland – from seeing Michael Jackson on the Pirates ride to me almost getting kicked out of the stupid parade because I wouldn't stand up. This year we need to both walk around with those giant turkey legs.

14. "Let Me Tell You a Little Bit About Angie" - The NSync fan video...truly one of the greatest productions of all time. Domino Dancing and Mr. Postman do not hold a candle. Ohhhh, and Lindsay was a part of it too. Soooooo awesome.

15. "Two Firsts" - Angie's first boyfriend Shawn was actually a model. He is also my first man-date to a live WWF event. (We sat in the 2nd row behind a big group of blue hairs.) This also really started Angie and I's shared love of pro wrestling. Between WWF, WCW, AWA and GLOW we had steady diet of about 5-6 hours every week.



16. "New Century" - For New Year's Eve 1999 we did the total opposite of Prince's song and worked for a family friend who was catering a church party. Everyone was anticipating Donny Osmond to show up "at any minute" because it was his old ward in Utah. Well, you can guess how that evening ended. Yep, no Donny and the live band actually played Smashmouth's "All Star" at least twice.

I knew Donny wasn't coming, and I didn't even need the Opti-grab to see that!

17. "The Office" - My Uncle David is a doctor, and for a few months I worked at his office with Angie. I did big time front office medical stuff like filing, making appointments, sticking things in charts, and most importantly...scheduling meals with the drug reps. I had this great strategy where I would just ask them what day they wanted to schedule to bring lunch in when I knew they had no intention of doing it. I would then act "flustered" like I misunderstood, but in then the drug rep always felt "cheap" and would put a date on the calendar. Angie hates embarrassing, awkward moments and I knew just how to create them.

Oh, and I also apparently really sucked at that job, but I was entertaining. Sometimes that goes further than true skills.




18. 1-976-HITS - So Angie and my other sister, Kim, decided they would call this 900 number in hopes of winning a bunch of prizes by answering trivia questions. Well, when the phone bill comes who does my mom come to first, you ask? Yep...me, because obviously I've been calling porn lines.

"Are you on a cell phone? Prank caller! prank caller!"

19. "Mother Dearest" - It was always funny to watch you and mom squabble. It was like you were an old married couple sometimes. I think that's why LIndsay and I laugh so hard at Kris and Khloe Kardashian. So entertaining.

20. "Mt. Mutombo & the Dream" - We were HUGE NBA fans back in 1994, but ironically it marked my most disappointing basketball season EVER. First we had to watch the #1-seeded Sonics lose in the first round to the Nuggets. (That Denver team is still my most hated to this day). Then, I had to witness John Starks go 2 for 18 in game 7 of the finals as one of my favorite NBA teams of all time, the 1994 NY Knicks, gave the championship away to the Houston Rockets.

Fletch's Laker Dream
Fletch at MOVIECLIPS.com

21. "The Eyes Have It" - To this day Lindsay and I are STILL scared of Angie's stern eye looks. We have no idea how Q is immune to them, but it give us hope.

  

22. "Cruise of Deception" - Every day after school we would always check in with our good friends Roman, Patch & Kayla, Jack & Jennifer, and "international spy" Shane Donovan. Because of this, Lindsay wonders how I have not come out of the closet yet. Her memories are more about bonding over General Hospital - Who doesn't like Sonny Corinthos?! Well, Brenda doesn't anymore, but maybe she'll come around before that show gets cancelled. Yep - just another soap I know waaaaay too much about.

"Hey, the patch isn't that bad. At least I'm not a rapist like Jack."

23. "Pop Goes the World" - Angie is a pop culture connoisseur and is literally a database of information. She is also very intelligent and an impressive test taker.

24. "Light Packer" - Everything she owns can fit into her car. Well, pre-Q, that is.

"It's a good car. It runs good, got a good engine."

 25. "Sweet Melodies" - We performed "Send me an Angel" and "We Are the World" at a karaoke bar in Moses Lake, and I didn't even need a Stunned Mullet either.

26. "Here's a Tip" - To save money for my mission I worked as a Pizza Hut driver. The tips were pretty dope since we lived near some of the richy rich parts of Bellevue. I mean, sometimes I was almost "bleeding money" I had so much cash lying around. So yeah, never noticed when a few dollars were missing, errrrr I mean stolen.

27. "Arcade" - And speaking of stealing from me, when I got the first Nintendo Entertainment System for Christmas, I used to charge my sisters by the hour to play. Kim would always pay ahead of time before she used it, but Angie would just wait until I wasn't home and then play for free.

28. "A Fresh Look" - So many hairstyles and so many colors...I think we've all lost count! It's a real talent to pull that many off.

29. "Cupcakes" - I loved cupcake Sunday and I didn't even live in Moses Lake. It's just that I knew that possibly you and Q would come to Pasco and there could possibly be a cupcake Monday coming my way. By the way, Angie's cupcakes are better than ANY of had at those big fancy cupcake shops. 

30. "Hawaii" - I dream of going back, even though I severely sunburned my legs last time.

31. "The Clarinet" - A Christmas Classic. And hey, well at least you didn't make out with your mom because your cousins went to Peru. (inside joke)

"Already did once today!"

32. "Nativity Jinx" - To this day, never a Mary, always an angel.

33. "Snowcones! We got snowcones here!" - Floyd's famous line from our Earl family reunions.

34. "School Daze" - Hanging out everyday at our Provo apartment.


35. "Q" - One of the greatest blessings in both of our lives.

Happy Birthday. You're a wonderful sister, mother and friend.