I Hate Baking

Last night for our Relief Society Christmas Activity, I signed up to make a cheesecake. Never having made a cheesecake before, I thought, "Yeah, I can totally do this. How hard can it be?"

Well, apparently, I didn't factor in the "Lindsay incompetence factor" because the cheesecake was a total baking-fail.

It started with getting the "Chocolate Caramel Cheesecake" recipe off of Smitten Kitchen. There were tons of good reviews for it and I thought I'd give it a go, brushing aside the fact that I'd never made a cheesecake before, never made real caramel before, and am a self-proclaimed mediocre baker.

I started melting the sugar to make the caramel at about 9 PM and it didn't turn out right. It had sugar lumps in it and was overcooked. It completely stuck to my brand new pot and I couldn't get it off with soaking it. I finally had to chisel it off with a knife. Really, can you think of a better way to break in a new pot?

I thought, "No problem. I will totally just start over." Well, the second time was absolutely disastrous because it was so lumpy that it totally resembled popcorn chicken. Seriously. Jared came in and I showed him and he was like, "Yeah, it totally looks like popcorn chicken. I mean a really yummy looking popcorn chicken, but not caramel." ARGHHHH!!!!!!

After throwing a supersized temper tantrum due to my utter incompetence, I then started again for the third time to do the first step in this whole cheesecake-making process. Lo and behold, it actually turned out. Then I was able to finish making the cheesecake.

It was finally time to bake that sucker. I was told to put it in a waterbath, as cheesecakes are prone to cracking. I stuck it in the oven, let it bake a good 10 extra minutes and then I took it out when it looked done. It said to take it out when the cake was completely cooked 3 inches from the edge and just a smidge wobbly in the middle. I looked at my own cheesecake and it displayed exactly those qualities, and I thought, "Great! I did it! Who cares that it's 1:30 AM in the morning. I've just made high-quality delectable goodness!"

Fast forward to the next evening, about an hour before the Relief Society Activity. I took said cheesecake out of the refrigerator and I just had this feeling to cut into it. I know. Totally ghetto to bring a cheesecake with a little slice taken out of it. But, I say better that then giving the entire Relief Society salmonella poisoning. Anyhoo, I nervously took it out and cut off a slice. It was TOTALLY RAW IN THE MIDDLE. I literally had flashbacks to the Belle cake of '08, when it spilled out on to the counter. Sure it was cooked like a 1/2 inch from the top and sides, but then the whole middle was pudding-like. BLECH!!!

After cursing the baking gods, I then ran to Yokes and bought myself a cheesecake.

Clearly, I am not a baker.