I'm A Baby's Daddy!

Chloe Michelle Bates
b. Wednesday :: Dec. 12 :: 12:54 pm
7 lbs 6 oz :: 20 inches :: eyes - asian :: cheeks - thick 'n droopy :: nose - no bridge

"Does she look like Carson, but a girl?"

"Yeah."

Yep, it's ours.


No, this is not the face of a madman...but it's really close.

Well, you remember all that mad drama about that baby that just wouldn't come out on Monday? SHE, yes she, arrived on Wednesday. I stress the word "she" because for the past 6 months or so my boo and I thought it would be a boy. Lindsay had been carving into red meat like a school of piranhas in a pool filled with small puppies { as she did with carson } and we thought there was no way we could face the drama of another magic rainbow diva princess like Kaiya.

Yes, now I've managed to outnumber myself both in children and females in one fatal swoop. Of course, one never weighs those consequences during those 45.7 seconds of late winter ecstasy back in March. And hey, who would? No man alive, I tell you. No...man...alive.

<< There's my 2 girls. So, wait, when Kaiya's a senior, Chloe will be a sophomore? Great, now I'm going to have to bury twice as many teenage boys as I had originally planned. It's ok, though, I've got motive and plenty of shovels.

One relief was that we had still not decided on a boy name, and we spent almost the entire delivery arguing about it. I learned quickly to tell Lindsay the names I liked between contractions or else she would spew crazy hellfire and give me an asian-eye staredown.

LINDSAY: "Like, seriously, you want to test me? right now? seriously?"

ME: "Sorry, I just like the name Kenneth. It was my..."

LINDSAY: "I will slap your face!"

Well, not quite that dramatic { but she was thinking it }.

The delivery was so ballin'. Probably best ever. A woman in our new ward was our nurse and took great care of Lindsay and was on top of everything. We told her that the nurse during our last visit actually had to deliver Princess Kaiya since the doc on call was doing a C section. She said "Wow, that would be my first." We said "So, who's on call today?"

The best part about the delivery was how fast it went. Like, I swear I've waited longer in the Burger King drive thru for my Whopper Value Meal® than for this baby to pop out. All I know is one minute I'm in the bathroom, and the next minute I walk out and it's mass hysteria getting the bed set up for the deliverage. { Suddenly I feel like John Travolta in Pulp Fiction }.

The doc we had was pretty funny. I ran to get the camcorder as this time I wanted to film...you know...the nether regions so Lindsay can see how insane a birth is. He was like: "Going for the full monty, eh?" I was like: "You are so money."

<< So, here's Chloe in some first shots after the delivery. And no, she wasn't dusting the chalkboard at school, she just had some major "birth juice" { I don't know the science name for it } on her head. I guess it doesn't wash off.

Look at her rockin' the rug on top. Carson and her both had a thick ol' mop when they came out. Kaiya's was really thin and light.

She was also our tallest baby at 20 inches. Which is probably on the Lurch side for Asians, but below average for white folk. Hey, as long as she gets Lindsay's build we rollin'.

Also, much love to my Boo after the delivery. It was good to see her smiling and not in too much pain. Let's just say last time wasn't much fun.

Later the kids came and got to hold their sister. Carson was relieved since now "Kaiya has someone to play with and she'll leave me alone." { Good luck with that crazy notion } but he was still convinced that had Lindsay delivered on her actual due date { 19th } it had a good chance of being a boy. Apparently, the extra week is all it takes to grow a ween.


I couldn't remember if Lindsay wanted me to post this photo of her and the baby, but I'm sure she won't mind.


Well, now I get to raise another girl and a third child. Pray for my soul.